Sunday, August 23, 2009
these few days was quite dead..
has been down on my luck..
getting f*** out of the class for nothing..
i quit my job at my uncle there..
so ya..
working at bedok 511..
sian sia... these few days realli rot..
to - & passerby
i noe u concern bout me..
bt then.. then thing is, passerby, have u try living as me in my life??
yes i agree wif u that they giv me money to spent..
bt then u spent the money n they nvr ask hw u spend it??
they jus giv u the cold shoulder..
n i hope u cn put u in my shoes b4 saying out anything..
8:51 AM
Friday, August 14, 2009
went to skool as normal..
n nobody msg me bout the timing..
it was suppose to start at 10.30..
bt no1 msg me bout it..
reach at 8.30..
then slack ard..
did pasrty..
the end product was nice..
had sleepless nite every now n then..
at the same time having headache..
this sucks..
now my head is spinning lyk crazy..
could it b the spleepless nite that i having?
or is it jus stress that is causing it?
arh.. dnt have the energy to think bout it..
proj is due-in in a week's time..
havin to do the bazaar also..
so many things in hand and i couldnt handle well..
i feel so weak, so useless..
tml soing off to do YMCA at chinatown..
dnt noe if cn sleep tonite?
or going to flip n toss in my beds lyk the nites i have?
i shall try catch some sleep as it's going to b a long day for me..
no matter how long time have pass, i still cnt 4gt bout u..
8:09 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
hais.. headache in the middle of the night..
and it's 1.24am..
right nw.. i really hit the breaking point of my life..
trapped in my own family proj, work, frans, skool, all sorts of stuff!
all i can say is that..
no matter hw much the effort i put in my work, or hw good my result turns out,
u never even see it, rather than saying it..
i dnt need to tell u wad i'm doing everyday,
u can ask me.. jus a word will do, n i'll noe that u are concern bout me..
right nw.. i dnt even feel anything from u..
wad family love.. i dnt believe in it anymore..
this place is shit.. i cnt realli take it anymore!
the feeling, it's starting to bug me now and then..
i dnt realli noe wad this place is anymore..
i dnt realli noe this place anymore..
it's doesnt feel lyk home to me..
i had to rush skool proj.. till late in the nite.. and all u cn do is to ask me to shut my com n get to slp, where as i need to push up my proj the next day..
nw for my little sis or bro.. if u need anything from me, jus say.. n nt took it without permission..
u noe how it's feel like ur things taken away without permission?
suck rite?? so better stop doing that already..
as for my bro, somehow or wad la.. i noe u gt stead nw, bt then no need always M.I.A at home?
u need pei her i cn understand.. bt then family is the most important ok?
hais.. skool proj is pilling up infront of me n i cnt seem to get anythings done yet..
arh!! i need a break, i need to breathe.. i need space for my own thinking..
nt every proj u let me b leader cn?
i nt superman or wad so eva.. i cnt do that much things at 1 time u noe..
it's lyk i b the group leader for 4 proj straight n the feeling, IT SUCKS OK!!
arh!! family prob.. it's nt lyk 1 or 2 times.. it's almost a daily basics for me..
to get scolding for nothing? wad the hell sia..
i'm nt the 1 that usually hang out wif the wrong groups of fran.. i choose them..
unlike my bro.. u see wad his group of frans are.. then u tell me wad time i should come back home.. there's nothing wrong havin barberque into late nite.. i mean most teenagers would do it?
bt then i'm ur son.. n i dnt have that little respect from my parents..
i feel so dissapointed sia..
no word of encouragment,no word of concern, all i heard from u is questioning.. where i go? go there for wad? BULLSHIT!!
i hate this feeling!! i realli hate it lo.. i cnt stand it anymore..
and this home is nt wad i realli wanted..
it's lyk a empty house, with people nia.. no warmth, no nothing!
i realli hate it lo.. IT SUCKS!
y dnt u try to b in my shoes n see hw i feel?
if lyk this rite, i rather stay out till late night then come back..
so havin less of ur scolding, questioning, wadeva u wan to say..
all i noe that no matter hw much effort i put in,
hard work i try in my work,
all u cn see is nth.. totally nothing from me..
i hate u!!
it's nw 1.50am n i was wondering if i still cn go to slp or nt..
headache is killin me..
Labels: i'm dead for now.. in my own world
10:24 AM
Saturday, August 1, 2009
YESTERDAY
went to soccer training with my brothers, hahas.. so long nvr see u guys le..
meet up wif jason at MCP supermarket..
then buy water n bused to T.P
there meet up wif them n then started to play for awhile..
then the training comes..
IT'S DEFINETLY NT A EASY JOB BEING A GK..
v harsh training wif jason..
then aft which train till 3+
went off wif jason, yong ding, yan kai, zhao xing, qing hui, wei shen..
eat at sen ex-hse there.. then rush home to bath n went down to work le..
TODAE
woke up at 7.50..
was late for training at bedok stadium..
started by Zhu telling me to run for 30 min..
jog/walk 8 rounds ard the stadium..
hahas..
rest n jog..
then ard 10 went off wif zhong..
will blog more ltr..
going doing to work le..
alright guys.. back from work..
when i was working, i was thinking of a qns..
did my parents ever ask me wad i actually want??
and the answer is no..
come to think of it, i did feel realli sad bout it..
so ya.. it did spoilt my mood for the day..
cos my parents did ask my bro n sis bout it.. n they nvr ask me..
was so freaking shag lor..
didnt hav the mind to do things..
n sorry for my group members..
i did nt do my job well as a group leader..
i feel that i'm the prob for my team.. as i did nt organise well for my team..
didnt have time to go out wif them to do the proj..
as it's only 3 weeks till deadline..
i feel so sad.. so stupid.. so worthless..
A USELESS PERSON!!
cnt even do a proper job well..
i'm nothing.. just a burden..
a burden that will jus sink the ship which is taking the rest of the crews who thinks there is hope for them..
from nw..
kevin chew's heart is dead le..
10:56 PM
